You never know until you face it

Several hours ago i posted this

Dead year end 2018

H min several day to be born as 2019 year person. I still felt my sorrow bigger than my kindness religy. One tear , two tears , the tears keep being flow downdown.  I tried to not cry again yet i always sleep last year .

What makes the things really hard to pass away for me ? Even its take a wedge in my heart . My mind keep floating out of topic . Nowadays me being difficult to sleep at night and suffered at afternoon.

Me should being idealist

Next story ,

confuse

Why?  I don't understand myself.
It is sure i like to chat him.  But why i can't respond much although he explain many things.

Ahaha i didn't know whats wrong with me. Not care.  Not care means care. Aiish, my mind feel so empty. Okay,  finish it.  Take care later.

Not care,
Not care,
Once again,  not care.

And theres something whose confusing.. Hmm, why i was so cocky about feeling.  Hahaha what a terrible person i am. Or maybe everyone like this. 😂😂

heart

Theres something that i was confused.  Its bout the beat of myheart. At first,  i was worried because i never felt it before.  Beat so hard.  But,  thankfully,  its solved itself. I tried to calm down it.  But maybe this quote will help me.

i expect strong, but...

Today,  i am so freaking limp,  but at the same time i am bored.  Thats why i write this.

Its been three days i was not in good condition,  my parent concern bout my health so that why they easily said i should stop my tiredness.  Buut..  Where am i going to start new journey??..

Future is like mystery..

i was in situation "thinking"

This midnight,  i wanna write for along time,  but can't..  So,  today,  its satuday..  From yesterday why i became a gloomy person,  maybe i was too tired,  huh?  What gonna i will be?  Any,,  for the rest the journey of life i have been survived..  I realize,  when we at this age,  when we already have money but don't have time.. Our meeting that we arrangement not always successful. My goal to go around the world still far away..

Ajik moella,  what pain is it,  what suffer is it,  what i really want,  ajik moella,,  but be sure,  human's journey is something that i should be bless of. I already left my youth insyaAllah with no regret. Previously, i swipe all my youth picture. Aaah, like this. Oh this is what i did, and this is picture of my old friend. Story is story. Story of mine. Unfotunately, my love story. That is full of tears bcz i can't tell the truth. Became so childish. And keep my ego. Yeah, i can't be so sure bout word that i sayin. So i think i am not really smart. Why i always playin words. Sayin harsh thing. Aihs, and why i can't keep my argument and always understand. Can't hurt the others. But until i at home, i thinking because i can't tell what i want tell. I hope smile will be my blurry image as forgiven of myself.

Really, i know my glare was changing bcse what happened to me. Theres something that can be predicted. Always and always. This is me who will give up bout hoping you back. Everyday is fight. Ya Allah, always protect my eyes and my every single step.  You know what better i will be. Someday,  someday theres a way.

Sincerely,
Afifah